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How to write a Quality application

Discussion in 'General Guides' started by EmperorTrump45, Jun 14, 2017.

?

Did this guide help you write a Quality application?

  1. Yes

    12 vote(s)
    80.0%
  2. No

    3 vote(s)
    20.0%
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  1. EmperorTrump45

    EmperorTrump45 Dank Memer

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    Introduction
    Greetings BRAWLERS, my name is Calvin and I read staff applications. Yes, I have that little to do.

    Because I'm such a nice guy, and because Tom is really bad at making guides, I've decided to devote a significant chunk of my time to help you make your next mod application a Quality application.

    What to do

    1. Answer the questions


    What does this mean? It means you answer what you're asked. If you're asked about your age - give your age (within 1-3 years of your actual age of course). If you're asked about your gender - give your gender, unless your genderqueer. In that case something along the lines of "I am all the genders" will suffice.

    Warning: some staff members like to be picky and get upset when you don't turn your app into an essay like you're applying for a position at Microsoft. That's OK. Most will appreciate brevity.

    2. Actually answer the questions

    As a Reader of Staff Applications I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've read an application only to be confronted by some blockheaded answer like this: Screen Shot 2017-06-14 at 11.59.06 AM.png

    Getting offended at racist comments is not a weakness. It is normal human behavior.

    Screen Shot 2017-06-14 at 12.47.08 PM.png

    We do not get the answer to this question until the second sentence. The third is unnecessary bs. Do not try to impress staff with 100 words when you can answer the question in 20. For example: What is your greatest weakness? A math exam.

    Short, to the point, and funny. You get bonus points m8
    Screen Shot 2017-06-14 at 12.51.11 PM.png

    "I want to become moderator on McBrawl because this server is my home" I do not know what this means. All I take from this is that you've watched too much Harry Potter.

    This answer is an example of what I like to call the 'I really wanted to impress the staff' syndrome, where you write out a dozen sentences of nothing thinking the fact that you wrote so much nothing will make staff impressed with your tenacity. It doesn't. As a Reader of Staff applications I do not want to have to go through half a paragraph to get to the meat and potatoes of what you, the applicant, is saying. That is not to say that if you have many achievements or many reasons why you want to become staff you shouldn't talk about them. Do so, by all means! But only when you have something to talk about.

    This applicant's answer can be summed up into three short points: They want to be staff because 1) timezones, 2) they know who joeymast99 is (who is joeymast99?), and 3) they're not toxic anymore

    A lot of pixels could have been saved by cutting out 90% of this answer. Do it.

    What not to do
    1. Do not argue with staff members

    Applying for Brawl is like applying for most other positions or jobs in life. When you're still in the 'interview' or 'application' stage treat everything a staff member says like it's the Word of God. Staff members are always right - and as long as you're an applicant they will continue to be right. If a staff member says you are inactive in area x you say:

    "Yes sir. Thank you for your feedback sir. I'll try to do better sir."

    If a staff member says you're immature you say:

    "Yes sir. Thank you for your feedback sir. I'll try to be less of a power hungry little **** sir."


    If a staff member says your profile picture is a disgrace you say:

    "Yes sir. Thank you for your feedback sir. I'll get rid of that FaZe clan avatar right away."

    Do not argue with staff members. Staff members are taking out their time, and their time is valuable, to read, evaluate, and comment on your application. Respect that. Respect them and they will respect you. End of story.

    Remember, staff members are like Mentos. They're not all alike. Some you'll like and others you'll wish would pull a Myortyre. As such, when you're applying for staff temper your expectations. Not everyone will vote +1, even if you're as qualified as @GalaThundR. There will always be 'that guy' who will toss a -1 your way because they don't like what they see. That's OK.

    If they, for instance, have doubts of your maturity prove them wrong by writing the response above. Take care to emphasize the "sir". Staff members love it when you call them "sir", kind of like how clubbies like it when you call them 'shawty' (that was a joke).

    This is what happens when you argue with staff members:

    Screen Shot 2017-06-14 at 12.23.12 PM.png

    The last thing the staff team needs is drama. It makes everyone's job harder as time that could have been dedicated to chilling in discord or moderating the chat on server x was instead dedicated to flare ups in PM y. As @Lord_Roke will tell you, not having a personality makes things far more efficient.

    That's not to say you can't have a personality. You can. But as an applicant you don't get to have a personality until after you're accepted.

    2. Make your application reader friendly.

    What does this mean? It means write your application in English and do not, under any circumstances, format it like this:

    Screen Shot 2017-06-14 at 12.34.31 PM.png

    See this? This ^^ right here? This is cancer. I don't want to read this. I never want to read this. I never want to look at this. You know why? Because it's a disaster. A complete disaster. The squiggly black things on the side and the BRIGHT GREEN and ORANGE text? Yeah, pick all the colors that don't go together and combine em into one giant collage of cancer.

    Great idea right there. Great idea. Why not add some BRIGHT PINK underlines while you're at it? Or some illuminati sh*t for all the triangles on this application? I mean I can't see them but there's probably some in there somewhere!

    OOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO

    Creativity is a good trait to have. But when it makes me want to stuff a package of socks down my throat and end my miserable existence that is not a good thing. Leave it alone. The only thing staff members care about is whether or not you meet the requirements and don't have the personality of a 5 year old who just discovered Pepe the Frog.

    Do not make your app a work of art. This is the Brawl forums, not DeviantArt.

    Sidenote: normally I am not this hard on people who mess with their app's formatting but this applicant was old enough to know better.

    3. Don't waste people's time

    If you have no posts or no recent activity then do not apply. Your application will only get denied. See below,

    Screen Shot 2017-06-14 at 1.04.30 PM.png

    If you do not have good standing with the people who actually make the decisions, do not apply until you do.

    If you are active but do not meet the requirements of the section you're applying for, do not apply until you do.

    The rest of this goes without saying. Read this thread, live long and smoke weed everyday

    Example of a Quality application:
    What is your in-game name? - SquishyCalvin
    Is your Minecraft account secured and migrated? - It is.

    How old are you? - 20
    What time zone are you in? - PST
    Are you multilingual? Can you speak multiple languages? - I can speak fluent English

    What is your experience and knowledge of Brawl? - I have no knowledge of Brawl, I just came here because someone told me how dead it was XD
    What is your experience with moderating servers, if any? - I have no previous experience, but I know I'd be great.
    Why do you want to become a moderator on Brawl? - for da POWAH!!!

    Have you ever used a hacked client before? - No.
    Have you ever been punished (banned, kicked, muted, etc) legitimately on a public Minecraft server? If so, why? - All my punishments are illegitimate. I was framed. @randomcitizen1 can back me up on this luv u bby <3 <3 <3

    What do you consider your greatest strength? - Gettin' dem sexeh babes
    What do you consider your greatest weakness? - 5 hours of teletubbies. I can't stand it!
    Which Brawl server(s) are you most active on? - None, I just made this app for the lols XDDDD

    How many Brawl staff applications have you made in the past? - Three
    What is the date of the last application you submitted? - Before Trump was elected
    Do you have TeamSpeak? People use teamspeak? It looks like it was made in Windows 95 LOL

    Anything else you would like to state? - @Canoodle I will give you $20 if you accept me. Bribes work. Right? Right???

    If your application is accepted, you will move on to an interview on TeamSpeak.

    Please insert a Yes / No poll below.
     

    Attached Files:

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    #1 EmperorTrump45, Jun 14, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2017
  2. redslime

    redslime Lead Developer

    Joined:
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    Discord:
    redslime#8503
    didnt work clog got stuck in a clogger

    help
     
  3. jojoSkiller_YT

    Joined:
    May 21, 2017
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    +8
    Good, I was kind of...I don't know the word for the emotion. But thanks xD
     
  4. Birdgirl

    Birdgirl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    What to do:
    1. Answer the questions
    2. Actually answer the questions

    What not to do:
    1. Do not argue with the staff members
    2. Make your application reader friendly
    3. Don't waste people's time

    Perhaps #2 and #3 from the second section should be in the first section instead?

    Beyond that, I enjoyed reading this post and the sass you sprinkled in.
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  5. featherpaw

    featherpaw Your friendly neighborhood kitten! :3

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    Many pixels could've been saved by cutting out 90% of this thread.
    • don't be a little stinker with feedback. take it like a man
    • actually answer the questions how others that've been accepted do. None of this "my weakness is swimming" crud.
    • just follow the format
    • don't apply if you literally just joined the forums!!!!
     
  6. oFire

    oFire Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    ''this hulped me xd i rly wnt t be staff ahah xd i duz dis for de lols haha xd''

    Also the unreadable yellow text was a nice touch.
     
    #5 oFire, Jun 14, 2017
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2017
  7. SoCool21

    SoCool21 Bans, Reports & Appeals Manager | 10 Year McPvPer

    Joined:
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    Challenge accepted
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  8. Lekosa1

    Lekosa1 mineman

    Joined:
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    joke didnt work got stuck in toaster
     
    • Winner Winner x 1
  9. MattM1PVP

    MattM1PVP Ex-HG Staff Member

    Joined:
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    instructions not clear dick stuck in a personality sir
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
  10. xGhale

    xGhale HG‘s Doom guy

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    10/10 would apply again
     
  11. SkullcrusherLD

    SkullcrusherLD Best-Known GSGer | Ex-War JMod

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    An excellent guide. I had to laugh several times and it was actual helpful. My favs:
    You know I'm an OpTic fan, so if you guys out there would like to have my support follow this guide ^ and don't come up with a FaZe avatar. Would be very appreciated. Oh and yes, the "Sir" thing as well.
    Shootin' against Roke. That's becoming a running gag (just look at my sig). Luv it.
     
  12. randomcitizen1

    randomcitizen1 The schizophrenic swagmoneymillionaire

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    For all the ranting against formatting, this thread's formatting is kinda special. :33333333333333333
     
  13. Charlie_0014

    Charlie_0014 Build & BT Overlord, Party Sub-Overlord

    Joined:
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    I'll be sure to use lots of green, orange, and pink on my next application.
     
  14. MR_EVIL_OVERLORD

    MR_EVIL_OVERLORD Elite Legacy Legend | PRO | Genius Super Villain

    Joined:
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    Very well thought out and well written.

    +1 from The Overlord
     
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