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Outro Goodbye. I'm sorry.

Discussion in 'Outros' started by jojoSkiller_YT, Jun 23, 2017.

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  1. jojoSkiller_YT

    Joined:
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    Hello, there are many reasons i'm leaving. I'm not mad at the community or dissapointed. I had so much fun, but I feel empty inside and life has not been working out. But when does it work out?

    Also this is not because of my recent denial for my application. The staff who responded are amazing and want me to succeed, but this is over.

    To be honest, I've been a big fat lie on the brawl community. This is not even my account, it was stolen. None of you know who I really am. And I guess that's my fault in many ways. I am not as nice as I am on the community, I've been to therapy for some dark stuff which is no longer with me as much but to be honest, depression has been eating at me for a while, which I don't mind. We're all human and lose sight of what we think matters.

    I have a different philosophy from all of you on here, and what looks to me as evil and you might be different. But evil is merely someone with a different philosophy and looks at the world through their eyes and sees what they do as justified. I'm sorry to have lied to you all, most of you don't know what i'm talking about. And that's fine. I'm not trying to complain, I don't like sharing my emotions nor talking about it. I simply ask for your forgiveness.

    The truth is that we are all evil in some fashion or shape, we all have secret desired and thoughts. Mine have been eating at me. Only a few of you know my age, and the truth is as a young child that I do seek attention. I have a lust for it and for fear. Some people do not, but I have desires of which are innocent and those that are bad.

    This has been happening for years now, i'm more antisocial than i've ever been before. I don't even open up the curtains. Which I do not mind, because there is always someone who has it worse.

    SO NOW! This is the part where I feel I have been dis honest. So this is me and this is the truth. My name is Jesse and I live with a family of three, my mother me and my grandma. I dispise my grandmother, because she has an illness called Huntington desiese or HD. Me and my mother have lived with her for 12 years now after my mother divorced my father. Since that time she has progressivly gotten worse and most of you will think that she simply throws a fit every once in a while but yesterday my mother almost hurt her very badly.

    After 12 years of my grandma calling my mother a deadbeat and constantly making her slave away for hours at a time, my mother is about to physically collapse. She is a single mother, works a daytime job which stresses her out too much. She has almost no money which when she did have it, she spent the last money she had on fighting my dad in court. I don't care anymore. I really don't. I have no more room for hatred.

    I do think she will and should be punished. And not in the way you think. I'm simply avoiding most of this because I want to keep this post clean

    Well, I can't share my philosophy to a full extent, but I think you get the reason, my grandmother attacked my mother for the fifth time yesterday, the bruises on her legs seem to always stay. I hate the therapy for me, it seems useless and I could care less about sharing. And you know what the funny thing is? After attacking my mother, my grandma calls the cops and says that my mother attacked her! xD She truly is stupid and ignorent.

    Well I've dumped my world of problems on you. I've told you the truth. And i'm sorry. Goodbye.
     
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  2. 19kss

    19kss 18kss

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  3. Jager

    Jager Well-Known Member

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    Damn, Stay strong buddy. You'll get trough it. Take care.
     
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  4. minemuke

    minemuke Well-Known Member

    Joined:
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    Oh my gosh. Thats terrible! I hope your family will be ok in the end! May god bless all of you in the future
     
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  5. GetShadowRealmed

    GetShadowRealmed What do I put here

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    Best of luck. Hope everything turns out ok.
     
  6. fridge

    fridge Active Member

    Joined:
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    Well that's dark.. if you ever need someone to talk to about this kind of stuff hit me up been in sortof the same situation.
     
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  7. SoCool21

    SoCool21 7 Year McPvPer

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    Make sure your mother doesn't go through this on her own. Be there for her, and make sure you get professional help if you can. Good luck with these issues - stay strong, it'll get better eventually.

    It's sad to see you go, I hope everything sorts itself out soon and that you'll be back. Good luck.
     
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  8. jojoSkiller_YT

    Joined:
    May 21, 2017
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    This is probably (You never know) my last reply or last say in the community. But thank you so much socool21. You've been there for me and wanted me to succeed. Thank you. We all got our demons. All we can do is prolong the inevitable. Oh, my last words of wisdom are, like I said we all have demons, just never let them in. No matter how much they knock.
     
  9. JayOG

    JayOG Ex-wArZ MoD (ง'̀-'́)ง

    Joined:
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    Discord:
    Jay#3599
    Can't really think of something to say. You have been one of the nicest, non-toxic players on Kit. You'll be missed Jojo. You and I were great friends. Be sure to never give up on yourself, because after the rain is over there is always sunshine. :wink:
     
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