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Resignation I'm so sorry... Thank you all for everything...

Discussion in 'Outros' started by FearTheDoggos, Dec 23, 2017.

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  1. FearTheDoggos

    FearTheDoggos Ex- WildWest/WarZ MOD

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    I've been crying for the last 4 hours as I am writing this, so it may not make much sense but hopefully you will get the message.
    Where to start, where to start where do I ****ing start? Perhaps that day exactly one year ago when I received a text that I was pended? When I first met Cuddled? Techdeck101? Danny? Caelon? Hitchens? I don't know... That's what has been going through my head for the past hour as I think about how I can sum up everything and put it into words... The issue is, I can't. There's too much... From the time I first applied for staff, til now, I have known one thing. I love brawl. Its been my home and place to hide from all of my issues and everything that has happened to me. It was a place I could go to forget everything, make friends, be kind to others because I knew they needed someone in their lives to be kind to them. So many people on this server just need someone to talk to. I have met so many people, so many stories that give me strength every day to continue living my life. I don't know how to thank you all for the help and strength you have all given me. You may not know it, but you might as well have saved my life many times. I now know that I'm not completely alone, I can't describe how much that means to me. I have met orphans, people who were abused, raped, left by their parents or run from them, committed suicide, fought wars, small issues like people who are being bullied, people whowill never walk again because his father stabbed him, so much pain, so much suffering, so much loss...
    Yet they are here.
    Brawl.
    Remember that, the next time you flame someone. The next time you tell someone to kill them self. Think about it really hard before you do that. Remember that when you think your situation is awful, there is ALWAYS someone in a worse position than you are. This is why I am staff, and why I will be coming back. I can't be a bystander. I can't sit in the shadows and watch people be hurt, its my biggest weakness.
    I remember when everyone told me "You will never be staff you ****ing ***got". Yet here I am.

    Well I put it off long enough. Its time to take a break, and explain what has been going on with me. After spending 100-350 hours each month moderating since I got staff on here, well nothing I can say will do justice to what Brawl has done for me.
    Thanks for running this server putty :3
    Without further adieu,

    Recently, a WildWest player betrayed me. I will not name him, but I know who you are. I have not said anything to you, nor will I. I just want you to know how much you hurt me. I trusted you.
    He leaked how I was sexually abused from when I was 9-13 years old, who did it, where I was molested when I was 5, to another ex player of brawl named iMingo.
    Mingo proceeded to blackmail me with it for about a week. I didn't give in, so he decided to create a youtube video with the entire thing and post it on the forums, on discord, and send it to many people who have been alting and spamming me about it with ridiculous obscenities.
    Mingo, if you ever see this, know that I pray for you every day. I pray that you rot in the most painful, hottest depths of hell. Enjoy it.
    After this happened, I was planning on resigning but for some reason I didn't. The reason was because I truly love brawl too much, even though my place of safety and shelter from my life was here, and was now compromised, I couldn't leave. Too many people counted on me. Too many people who needed me to talk to, to many people suffering. WildWest needed me.
    Today I got a call about 45 minutes before an event was supposed to happen. My last friend irl, and my best friend, was just set to rehab for most likely 14 months, with a felony for the possession of cocaine. He was all I had left... He was literally all I had... He was basically a replacement for my father who beat me, my brother who abused me, and the friends I never had. Now I will never see him again, because he will not come back when he is finished.
    I apologize to all of you for leaving. I can't be here during this. I will snap and I will say things I regret. Sorry.

    Now for the tags.
    @Sn4x5 @RyGuy We all got staff together, I wish I could go back to those days when we were in ts channels with cherry just talking time away and peacefully playing party together, ranting about stupid ****, and just being normal people.
    @DarkTitan_ Maybe we will meet each other one day, I really do hope so, you have been more than anything I could have asked for.
    @Hitchens Good luck with wildwest, you know we will stay in touch. Nothing more needed to say. True friends, and nothing more needed to say than that. Thank you. I believed in you when nobody else did, and I always have. Save it for me while I'm gone, maybe get smod. I WILL be back ): I just can't right now, you must understand. Please don't let the power get to your head, that's all I ask. Don't change who you really are.
    @Chilled_67 Wish you stayed with me and helped me with wildwest. You used to be an amazing friend here, I hope you will feel welcome in the war staff team when you transfer, sorry I couldn't make you more welcome in WW
    @Jay_C9 Thank you for being there when nobody else was, I'm glad I was able to help you get staff, you have done amazing. Don't let your anger get the best of you, and remember what I told you when you first applied :3
    @Lord_Roke You have been so understanding and kind recently, thank you so much for that. I apologize for leaving wildwest, especially with a major update on the way, but there's only one step left for it. I can't thank you enough for all the work you have done over the past few years. You have literally held the server together, and now the staff team since @Canoodle left. Thank you. I don't think you hear those words enough.
    @charlottethegirl my best female friend :3 No words to describe what we use to have, too bad we lost contact.
    @AmbitionZ_ I'm so sorry you had to leave ): I miss you a lot. Wish we stayed in touch. I'll always be a sheep :3
    @Nafsu Hey, ur ugly -.- Everyone Just Needs To ... :c Nafsu4jmod you will do really well if you go for it. Please do so! :33 Remember, napoleon, is ALWAYS right.
    @Zqra You are a good kid, I really hope everything works out.
    @Cameron I can't thank you enough for what you did for me, thank you. In case you were wondering, my cousin is not doing well, please keep praying for him.
    @SnowCool21 Thank you for all of your help recently with all the issues that have come up, I can't thank you enough for what you did for me.
    @JustFamouz I'm sorry you got caught up in everything in the mingo situation. You are a good person, remember that. Stay a legend of WW, thanks :3
    @Eil My overly active buddy :3 (totally not salty about having 371 hours and you having 380 :VVVV) ANYWAYS, you are an amazing staff member, I really hope you continue helping with WW, we need you. You do amazing stuff for raid, keep it up no matter what people say.
    @Carcano scum :3
    @Keksolazio You are pretty chill, see you around xD
    @TheMafias I wish you stayed around to get staff again, would have been nice to have someone dedicated back.
    @Tjocko You are really dedicated, keep it up. I enjoyed working with you a lot.
    @RitzyClaus your tag was supposed to be right here, idk what happened but half the tags were deleted.
    You helped me at one of my worst moments and I can't thank you enough for it. Thank you. Please keep warz in shape like you have been, for me and snacks :3 go get smod.

    The thread was too long, so heres the rest. I posted it without realizing I went over the limit. Half the tags got deleted :c
    @Miskey #BringBackHG!!! I believe in you xd
    @Pyrotheum we need you as a JMOD :c I'm sorry that nobody can see that... Good luck ):
    @Maryland @ChicknSlayr Do great things for warz, I'm glad I helped you both get staff. Gratz on mod finally but **** YOU FOR TAKING MY NAME! :3 ily tho xd
    @Fadaad8 you are my favorite sheriff, I can't thank you enough for everything you did for me, you deserve JMOD, maybe we can apply together when I'm back :3
    @Droiid don't let anyone bring you down, you deserve better.
    @WildWest community, THANK YOU ALL ILY SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I'll be back some day, sorry for leaving you all...

    There are too many ****ing tags to put in... If I missed you PM me ;c Sorry :c You all know who you are, thank you for having an influence on my life, good, bad, or otherwise. ily you all. You all made a difference in my life.

    Oh and btw MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    :V
    :VV
    :VVVVVVVVVVVV
     
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    #1 FearTheDoggos, Dec 23, 2017
    Last edited: Dec 23, 2017
  2. xGhale

    xGhale HG‘s Doom guy

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    Well holy **** that was sudden :frowning:
    Sucks to see you go man, but I pray as well. Not for the depths of hell for Mingo, but for your safety, physical and psychological, and while this may sound cringey, I hope to see you again :frowning:
     
  3. SoCool21

    SoCool21 7 Year McPvPer

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    The best staff member we have on the staff team right now, hands down. Thanks for everything, I'm sorry you had to get caught up in the lowlife that is iMingo, and I sincerely hope your IRL situation gets better and everything works out for you.

    Come back soon, but not too soon :stuck_out_tongue: Focus on your life first. I'm here if you need anyone to speak to.
     
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  4. Hitchens

    Hitchens Well-Known Member

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    I will ban you if you dont talk to me on discord ok
     
  5. Xion

    Xion Well-Known Cheater

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    six ♡#9437
    goodbye friend :frowning:
     
  6. Lekosa1

    Lekosa1 mineman
    Build Team Wiki Team

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    hope ur irl is fine, stay safe buddy :smile:
     
  7. tallscot

    tallscot sceptiiiiiii

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    iMingo is a 17 year old f*ckwit

    deadass ashamed that I'm the same age as him lmaoo
     
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  8. Maryland

    Maryland Noob mod

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    no, ur mean for forgetting me. I am sad now and I will go cry myself to sleep.
     
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  9. DarkTitan_

    DarkTitan_ Ex War and News Manager

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    You're an amazing person. You've dealt with so many things most people don't have to, and you've dealt with them so calmly and humbly. I'm so sorry for your whole situation, but always remember - God is always there for you, and so am I. DO NOT hesitate to message me on Discord or here, I always love to chat, and help in any way I can. <3
     
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  10. Binizzle

    Binizzle Member

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    hey man, now I know what you've been through I'm sorry for anything that has happened to you in your past but I hope that your future will compensate for whatever has happened :/.
     
  11. Droiid

    Droiid Shutdown

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    Droiid#0609
    We had a good talk last night Ethan, Ill definitely miss you yo. Honestly, we had some good times, and have gotten to know each other fairly well. And because of that, it'll be sad to see you go. good luck with everything.

    Also you have my sc and discord so hmu whenever lmao
     
  12. TheTitaniumTitan

    TheTitaniumTitan Wild-West JMod | Wiki Team

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    Don't leave Discord, we need to talk :frowning:
     
  13. TheZombieKat

    TheZombieKat CTFer since May 2012

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    Man, I don't know what I could say that would have any meaning. I hope things get better (is that too cliche?) and I'm here if you want anyone to talk to (that's cliche too, sorry). I hope you do come back to Brawl someday, we'd be happy to have you back.
     
  14. Theo92160_

    Theo92160_ Worldedit's axe > Guns > Swords

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    Theo#7686
    Sorry, this caught my sentiments and I can't find anything better to say, except hope you're ok Irl... )=

    Actually, create an account on Kik if you doesn't have one already, and add DyvingPenguins. She might me the right person to share and relax with you...
     
  15. Xion

    Xion Well-Known Cheater

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    six ♡#9437
    after reading this, imingo you a lil ***** and oh boy i swear if i get $10
     
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  16. Overkilll_

    Overkilll_ Phantom Mc-Warz Mod

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    lol I can die in peace now I finally got tagged in a resignation XD
     
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  17. GalaThundR

    GalaThundR Mcpvp Veteran

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    GalaThundR#7914
    I truly hope the best of your future. As I said in slack, don't prioritize a block game over serious irl situations. I appreciate everything you've done for the server and once things turn around for you I'd love to see you return. Best of luck!
     
  18. tchuckraider

    tchuckraider Brawler

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    Good mod who made some mistakes. We had a few fights and most of them were because you took what I said seriously when I said it as a joke, and other times were when you called me out on stuff that I didn't want to admit. Sad to see a productive member of the community treated this way and basically bullied out of staff. I have made some egregious comments to you in the past, and I don't recall whether I have said this or not, but I am sorry and you proved me wrong.
     
  19. Carsonn

    Carsonn #1 WarZ Looter NA/EU/AU/AS/SA/AF

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    Thank you for going out of your way to brighten the days of so many people here, Chickn. By setting an example as, well, hands down the kindest staff member I've ever met, you've indirectly taught me and others a lesson about how to simply be a better person. And I appreciate it. Godspeed, Chickn. :smile:

    Also, I'm gonna have to join you on this one, unfortunately
     
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  20. JayOG

    JayOG Ex-wArZ MoD (ง'̀-'́)ง

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    Jay#3599
    Really was gonna hold off on replying for a bit. Seems like now is a good time. Oh Ethannnnnnnnnnn... Don't really know what to say besides you are a ****ing legend and i love you like you're my big brother honestly. I'm just so shocked it had to be now you had to go... I completely understand why. I can't say I helped earier. Everything that has happened between us has been great, we've always had that strong connection and bond. I could always go to you for anything, and you could always come to me. It really did feel like you 100% understood me. I really wouldn't have this mod rank without you helping me and guiding me through the process of becoming a better person. You watched out for me and thats something not many people have done. You are the only actual person I could really trust telling you everything and you would listen. It's great knowing such a great person like you exist, you really watched out for me and I really appreciate that. I'm sorry not everything in life went the way we expect it to go. Just know that everything will be alright. :smile: Love you dude, not even joking you are a big bro to me. Thanks for everything you, and if you ever wanna come back on an alt and play with some non permbanned germans let me know :wink: of course dude, this isn't our last goodbye though. Hmp on discord sometime! Oh and... :V watch me make it ontop dude
     
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